From the category archives:

Bullying

Children’s helps school take a stand against bullying

by Tripp Underwood on March 8, 2012

If your child were being bullied, would you know about it? Most of us would like to believe that if our kids were being targeted at school they’d tell us right away, but unfortunately that’s not always the case. Data shows that many bullying victims fail to report their harassment. This could be for any number of reasons, but in many cases the victim stays silent because he’s scared that telling someone will make the bullying worse, is embarrassed about being picked on or thinks the adults in his life can’t do anything to stop it.

It’s a difficult cycle to break, but it’s not impossible. To help, Children’s Hospital Boston has teamed up with teachers, administrators and students in one Boston school to empower kids to take a stand against bullying. Full story »

Leave a comment

Can the term bullying be overused?

by Childrens Hospital Boston staff on October 27, 2011

We recently received the following comment on a Thriving post about bullying:

“My daughter is 7 years old.  Yesterday she was accused of bullying another girl on her soccer team by a parent who said that my daughter is the reason this girl scared to come to practice. She used an incident of the girl taking my daughter’s “pink” soccer ball and my daughter wanting it back (and arguing with her to give it back) from as my daughter being a bully. 

I know my daughter is not perfect, but this seems extreme.

Every time the girl shows up she does cartwheels, runs around and plays with her friends from school on the team. I’ve never seen anything to indicate this girl is unhappy there. Three parents have come forward, including the coach, who have said that they have never seen my daughter bully this girl or any other child on the team and that the incident was not as the parent described.  The coach suggested the parent is looking for an excuse as to why she never brought her daughter or practice or games.

I know bullying is awful, but now bullying is used for everything when it is also not the case. It seems to me that as much as there is horrible bullying, people also use it against others when it is not true. This person is hurting my daughter. How do I handle this?”

This stuck me as a very valid concern. To learn more I reached out to Peter Raffalli, MD, FAAP, director of Children’s Hospital Boston’s BACPAC (Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention and Advocacy Collaborative). In the following blog post he addresses this mother’s issue. Full story »

Leave a comment

A doctor’s response to bullying

by Childrens Hospital Boston staff on September 22, 2011

Kelly as a toddler

We recently shared a blog written by Children’s patient Kelly Rock, who for years was bullied and excluded as a result of a medical condition. Kelly is an amazing young woman, and her blog post spurred a great deal of conversation on our Facebook page.

In response to Kelly’s story, Peter Raffalli, MD, FAAP, director of Children’s Hospital Boston’s BACPAC (Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention and Advocacy Collaborative) has written a companion blog exploring bullying’s affect on health and provides advice for parents on behaviors to look out for if you fear your child may be a bullying victim.

Reading Kelly’s account of her childhood experience with bullying, I am truly struck by her courage. She also brings insight on the impact bullying has on its victims and the potential protective influences family and friends can provide. Bullying is such a common and age-old problem, but sometimes I marvel at how overlooked it can be. However, in the last decade we have seen a groundswell of attention to the scourge of bullying.

Kelly clearly had one important weapon in the battle against bullying: a strong, supportive, loving family. Studies show that one of the protective influences in bullying dynamics is a strong supportive family and a good friendship network. Communication between family members is important. Victims of bullying are very reluctant to report it or talk about it. If communication with your child is poor to begin with, then the chance of detecting the bullying is poor. Full story »

Leave a comment

Our patients’ stories: Bullying due to a medical condition

by Childrens Hospital Boston staff on September 21, 2011

On September 21-22 The U.S. Department of Education will host the second annual Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, D.C. This year’s goals are to engage government and nongovernmental partners to help identify the best ways to reduce bullying. In the following post, a Children’s patient discusses how she was bullied because of her medical condition and shares how her parents and medical team helped her deal with the situation.

By Kelly Rock

Kelly and her twin sister Megan

Growing up with an identical twin, you can expect a lot of comparisons to your sibling. But for my identical twin sister Megan and I the experience was slightly different. Instead of always hearing, “you guys look so alike,” we heard plenty of comments like, “why doesn’t Kelly look more like Megan?”

I was born with a rare facial deformity called Hypertelorbitism, which basically means I was born with my eyes being far apart and a nose that developed differently. Being born with Hypertelorbatism presented me with a good deal of challenges growing up. At 19 I’ve already undergone 8 surgeries at Children’s Hospital Boston and am scheduled for another one soon. At times I feel like I grew up in the operating room, and there were plenty of times where I wished I could’ve been outside playing with my friends instead of being in a hospital bed attached to IV’s, wires, and drinking all kinds of nasty tasting medicines to ward off infection. But through it all I knew that all the medical attention was best for me. I also knew that my plastic surgeon, John B. Mulliken, MD, director of Children’s of Craniofacial Anomalies Program, would do everything in his power to make me look my very best, even if that meant spending fourteen hours on one surgery. (I underwent that one when I was just 9 years old.)

Growing up, my family and medical team at Children’s were always very supportive in helping me overcome the challenges of Hypertelorbitism, but I can’t say the same about other kids my age. I used to be made fun of on a daily basis because of how I looked. I remember going to camp and having kids laugh and exclude me, or try to make me feel alienated just because I looked different. To this day I vividly remember a day in third grade, when I tried to play hopscotch with some of my classmates but they just turned their backs to and said I couldn’t play. Full story »

Leave a comment

Is a vegetarian diet enough to sustain growing teenagers?

“Please pass the vegetables!” may be a scarcely-heard phrase from kids sitting around the dinner table, but the sentiment is becoming more common as adolescents and teens explore vegetarianism.

While very recent and consistent data on the number of vegetarians in the United States is hard to come by, it’s generally estimated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that one in 200 American children under 18 is a vegetarian (that number reflects mostly teenagers, who have more control over their diets). This increase begs the questions: What does this mean for young vegetarians’ overall health? And how does it impact family life?

Understandably, parents may fear that it’s harder for vegetarian kids to eat a balanced diet and fit in socially. Some vegetarians replace meat with unhealthful sweets and carbohydrates, rather than vegetables and plant-based proteins, and there are news stories about high school vegetarians being teased for their different eating habits. Full story »

Leave a comment

Tragic stories of teens being bullied and ostracized at school have been saturating media headlines. But while these tales are making news, there’s another story to be told: that of homosexual teens’ estrangement—even banishment—from their families.

According to the recent Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Surveys (YRBS), one in four teens who identify themselves as lesbian or gay are homeless, and a study in the American Journal of Public Health (AJPH) says that it’s more likely that these teens are being driven out of their homes by their parents. Supporting this are findings from studies of homeless youth living apart from their families. One such study shows that 73 percent of homeless gay and lesbian teens indicated that they were homeless because their parents disapproved of their sexual orientation. Full story »

Leave a comment

Warning signs for identifying teen dating violence

by Tripp Underwood on July 6, 2011

The suburb of Wayland, MA, was stripped of its quiet, small town image this week when an 18-year-old resident was found violently murdered in a local marsh. The suspected killer is another 18-year-old Wayland resident, and the victim’s former boyfriend.

“I did know [the victim] and the alleged assailant, and people are very, very sad and confused,” Wayland High Principal Pat Tutwiler told the Boston Herald. “I would say that there’s no such thing as a community where things like this don’t happen.”

Unfortunately, Principal Tutwiler’s quote is frighteningly accurate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one out of every ten teenagers has experienced some form of dating violence.

With such high incidence of dating violence among young people, it’s very possible your child or someone they know is in an unhealthy relationship. To help keep teens safe, here are some important dating violence safety tips and facts for parents and teenagers from the Massachusetts Medical Society and Children’s Hospital Boston’s Center for Young Women’s Health. Full story »

Leave a comment

White House to host conference on bullying

by Tripp Underwood on March 10, 2011

President and First Lady Obama, along with the Department of Education and the Department of Health and Human Services, will be hosting a conference on bullying prevention today at the White House. And considering how tech savvy today’s kids are, cyber-bullying will be a key component of the conversation. Keeping with that theme Facebook will play an active role in the summit by hosting a live screening of the conference and digital discussion on how people can make the Internet a safer place for children by promoting a deeper sense of respect and understanding Online.

To watch the conference and join the conversation, please check out some of the Facebook pages dedicated to the summit. In conjunction with national efforts to raise awareness on bullying, Children’s has recently launched an anti-bullying collaborative called the BACPAC (Bullying And Cyberbullying Prevention & Advocacy Collaborative). The following are stories Thrive has run on the subject of bullying and how the effort to reduce its prevalence will require a cohesive approach that involves parents, educators, the medical community and our children.

A year on, what Phoebe Prince has taught us about bullying

Claire McCarthy, MD

In this post Dr. Claire McCarthy weighs in on what the tragic case of Phoebe Prince has taught us all about the deep emotional scars bullying can leave.

______________________________________________________

Food bullies

Joshua Feblowitz, a former Children’s writer and patient, shares what it was like for him growing up with a severe food allergy and how he was occasionally a bully target because of it.

______________________________________________________

Parental bullying and overweight kids

Overweight children are more likely to be bullied than other children. But their torment isn’t limited to the playground. Read a story that focuses on how some parents’ “tough love” approach to getting their children to lose weight borders on parental bullying.

______________________________________________________

Middle school’s no walk in the park

Like Phoebe Price, 13 year-old Thea Hickey was also bullied at school and Online. In the following first-person account, Thea talks about her own bullying experience and offers advice to kids and adults about how to better address the problem.  

Leave a comment