When Kids Make Us Look Bad: My McDonald’s Moment of Shame

My latest (by no means the first, and certainly not the last) embarrassing parenthood moment happened two weeks ago.

It was the evening of the district-wide art show. This is a semi-big deal in our town; the art teachers pick their favorite projects from the school year, from all the grades, and put them on display for everyone to see. There is an opening reception when all the families and friends come to look at all the wonderful art, eat hors d’oeuvres, and do all the appropriate oohing and aahing.

Both of my younger children, Natasha (11) and Liam (6) had pieces in the show, but we didn’t know what or where they were. We hunted around, and as we turned a corner Liam said, “There it is! There’s mine!”

My son had drawn a picture of McDonald’s food—of the French fries, really. They had Exalted Lines around them to show just how special they were.

Great. Of all the things my son could have drawn, he draws McDonald’s French fries. The food I tell him—and his siblings and all my patients—is bad for him.  He didn’t just draw them, he drew an ad for them. McDonald’s should pay him.

Immediately, the I-screwed-up stuff started in my head.  I should have been more strict, I told myself. I should have taught him that McDonald’s food is poison. We should never have gone there. Not that we go all that often…but here and there we do, when we need some quick food and happy kids. (Those golden arches were a sight for sore eyes in March after being stuck for hours in traffic on a family vacation.) Liam goes to McDonald’s maybe eight times a year (we go less than that, but my mother-in-law sneaks in some trips). That’s not much. But then again…

Maybe I’m too strict.  Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the whole Forbidden Fruit thing. Maybe if we didn’t make a big deal about limiting his access to McDonald’s it wouldn’t seem so wonderful to him.

But…maybe I just didn’t make the healthy foods appealing enough.  Maybe if I’d done a better job of making kiwi or zucchini or tofu seem like the very bestest food around, if I’d found the fun recipes and been really creative, he would have drawn an elegant kiwi-zucchini-tofu still life instead.

Or…it’s those darn Happy Meal toys. I’ve never really bought into the controversy on this one; to be honest, I like the Happy Meal concept. The portions are small, and the toy sometimes distracts them from finishing the food. But suddenly I felt bamboozled. McDonald’s had won: my son wants the food even more because of the toys.

We wandered around the art show. Natasha showed me her really great self-portrait. Liam showed me his other piece, which involved a volcano, a pig and something that looked like a flying orange manatee. We ate cookies and found the artwork of friends, chatted with all sorts of people we hadn’t seen in a while, and I found myself thinking…

Why do I care?

It’s not that I really think that Liam is obsessed with McDonald’s French fries. He loves them (he says that they have the perfect amount of salt and grease), but he manages very well without them 357 days out of the year. He may not have the ideal diet, but he is offered lots of very healthy food on a regular basis. I don’t really think I screwed up.

Here’s what it was: I was embarrassed. I mean, I’m a pediatrician! I’m supposed to be a proponent of healthy foods, which McDonald’s is not. I felt like the picture made me look bad. And maybe it did. Maybe the people who saw it (like the woman from church who said, “that’s your son’s drawing?” with a funny look on her face) think I don’t know anything about healthy nutrition, or that I feed my kids fast food all the time. But as much as we might like them to, it’s not the job of our kids to make us look good.

Wouldn’t it be nice if our children were always perfectly behaved, got straight A’s, never tried a cigarette or a beer, never got in a fight or said a bad word—and ate kiwi, zucchini and tofu and never even wanted McDonald’s? How amazing would that be? Everyone would think we were perfect parents.

But our kids are human, just like we are. And you know what? It’s better that way. Perfect isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—and those French fries do taste good.

“It’s a great drawing,” I told Liam. Who knows—maybe he has a future in marketing.

  • http://twitter.com/KidsAndCancer Kids @ MD Anderson

    Love, love, love this! So true, so real and so entertaining to read. More parents will relate to you as a pediatrician knowing you struggle with the same things and are just trying to do your best.

  • Cmurphy143

    One day while in the car with my great niece, Athena(who’s mother insists she not have candy or soda or anything fast food) announces excitedly “ohhhhh look Ninny there’s MY MacDonalds!!”  Mama was busted!! Good thing I feed her healthy food! lol

  • Motherofmultitudes

    That.is.epic. Kids do have a way of keeping it “real”. I go out of my way to feed my five kids healthy food. I grind our own grain, make almost everything from scratch, and take a lot of time, energy and money to keep it “healthy”. We lived with my mother for 4 weeks while waiting for work to be finished on our newly bought house. A week after being in our new home, I was putting a dab of real maple syrup on my son’s freshly made high protein whole grain waffle, and he says to be cheerily “Mom, I like Gram’s maple syrup SO MUCH BETTER than ours. You need to ask Gram where she gets hers. Maybe she will buy some  for us.” Gram’s “maple syrup?? Aunt Jemima’s light pancake syrup, made with artificial sweeteners and HFCS. My mother and I about died laughing together when I relayed the message. 

  • Zirp22

    Hey, stuff happens.  We let out kids sleep over a friend’s house, and they take them to McDonalds, too!  That doesn’t make us or them bad.  It’s a choice of the moment…  We can make a better choice next time!  I am a Weight Watchers member, and it’s the same thing.  I make a not so good chice right now, but I can get right back to the good choce at the very next meal.  Let’s not be so hard on ourselves – yes, we are human after all!

  • nansonaham

    Kids crave what’s forbidden. I think the fact Liam drew this is an indicator you’re a GREAT parent!

  • LTS

    When kids are old enough to understand, have them watch the movie “Super Size Me”.  My daughter went on a field trip to the local movie house in 8th grade to see this movie. After, she pronounced McDonalds as disgusting and vowed never to go there again.  8 years later, she feels the same way.

  • Sam

    I find that McDonalds also have healthy foods, contrary to the stereotype.

  • Hyun Chung

    That is really funny.  I am a physician, my son drew a giant picture of a video game for his school art project, “what I like most”.

  • Hal

    Any one moment in a child’s life is not a clear indicator of who they or their parents are…although it sometimes feels that way.  There are so many worse things a child can do or that a parent can expose their children to, I think having a very good, easily recognizable drawing from a 6 year old (whether it be McDonalds or anything else) is something for which to be quite proud.  Congratulations!

  • Jill Beverly

    I love this blog. I could’nt stop laughing. Your son is quite the artist. I don’t think by eating McDonalds eight times a year that anything bad will happen! Love reading your blogs!

  • John

    well, those fries are delicious

  • ash

    I think its even funnier that Dr. McCarthy was so concerned about what the art was about that she seems to have forgotten to notice he’s a pretty good artist for a 6 year old! 

  • Luise Dittrich

    A future in Marketing, indeed, Claire! Send him right over …
    Your amused officemate,
    Luisa

  • Miss-j

    this is an info-graphic about how bad Mcdonald’s really is check it out its so informative this you should really be aware of ——-> http://ibmsem.wordpress.com/infographics/group-5/